My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
