i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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