I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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