Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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