It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
