well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
