people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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