dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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