I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
