I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
