Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
