I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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