im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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