Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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