Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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