I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
