We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
