Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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