I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize