Ambien. No doubt about it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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