Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
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Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
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Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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