I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
