Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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