That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
