The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
