Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
