what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
