Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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