we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
