new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
