Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it because I queefed?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
