haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
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Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....