Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.

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(904): View more from Florida

the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

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(845): View more from New York

We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?

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(740): View more from Ohio

This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

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(805): View more from California

Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run

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(419): View more from Ohio

she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.

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