U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
