Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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