i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize