and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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