you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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