you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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