it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
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We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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