Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
