my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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