You're completely useless in the revolution.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
