He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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