I think my vagina is haunted
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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