Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm both gender and math confused
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
