The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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