how can u be prego again
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
