I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I died a long time ago.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
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So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
whose parrot is this?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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