I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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