I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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