So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i've created a new STD.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
