The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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