this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
