So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize