A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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