Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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