so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Blow job season was short but glorious.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
