Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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