Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
