is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
