He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
