I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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