Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
