the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize