i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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