i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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