When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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