That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
